Mecella | A Home For Poets

It scares me.
My past is present, my actions were terrible.
I’ve abused people in my past,
And now I’m living with the consequences.
I want to be a better man,
But the aisle is always so crowded
With people who make this world unbearable.
But I’ve made it unbearable, too.
I’m a sinner, who has hurt women time and time again.
I don’t want to, so I’ll try not to.
But I’m perhaps destined to be alone.
Nothing comes from living in the past,
And my family and doctors want me to live in the moment.
So I will try to live in the moment.
No more alcohol, or marijuana, or tobacco.
Just my medicine, and a healthy lifestyle.
I will best my depression, and anxiety, and crippling guilt complex.
I will own my PTSD.
I will develop habits that comfort me,
And try hard not to be consumed by others’ lives.
I will strive for greatness, and stay out of trouble,
In this violent, hate filled world.

And when I am alone,
I will console myself with the presence of family.

I will be strong!